Puppy Love

Sometimes I just hug my little sweet puppy close to my face and close my eyes and I feel like someone loves me, unconditionally, wholly and just wants to be close to me.  Of course then I open my eyes and realize she is my dog and I do love her but I need more than puppy love!

I have been doing some deep soul searching about the next phase in life.  I really need to stop repressing emotions and let them happen.  Here’s the truth that I can’t hide from:  My house is in foreclosure and we are filing for bankruptcy!  My business will be closing in the next four months.  If you are reading and you’ve owned a business you’ll know that you have a love/hate relationship with it.  When it’s doing well and customers are happy you feel on top of the world!  But when something happens that you don’t have any control over and customers become upset it can feel like you’ve lost all confidence in yourself to keep moving forward.  Whatever happens I will be dealing with it here.  I can almost guarantee it won’t be pretty.

I was watching one of my favorite tv shows, its a drama and I get caught up in the characters.  Sometimes I can relate a story line to something I’ve been through or imagine what it might feel like.  Tonights episode was that way, I could almost imagine what losing my best friend would do to me.  After it was over and I was hugging my sweet puppy to my face I breathed in and for a moment with my eyes closed I felt like I still had more to accomplish and it might not be easy to attain some of the goals I have set for myself, but I think all of them would be worth the effort